Someone Figure Out My Life For Me

Or at least my summer plans.

Being here, and my beyond-shitty winter break made me realize that there is no way I can go home this summer. Fishkill is deadening, emotionally speaking. There's nothing to do, a lot of my friends will be elsewhere, and honestly, I just don't think I could make it through one more summer at home without taking anti-depressants. So a few days ago, when Sonia imed me and asked if I wanted to sign a lease in East Williamsburg starting in May, my reaction was essentially "YESYESYESYES." Being in New York in summer is so romantic. Even being poor in New York. There are free things to do everywhere, free concerts in Central Park, free movies, free afternoons at the museum. I don't care if it's hot and gross and smelly and I walk around everywhere with running makeup and sweaty clothes. No matter what, it beats another summer in Fishkill. And New York is the only thing I miss about the United States, except for the people and light whole wheat english muffins.

So I'm determined to make it happen. The only thing is, I have no idea how I'm going to do it. My parents will let me go to the city this summer, but they won't pay for my rent until classes start. I remember my friend Kendall telling me that it was less expensive for her to live in Brooklyn for the entire year than to live in NYU housing for nine months. But I totally understand that me taking care of my own rent this summer would save them money, and with the economy as it is I guess that's best. So rent is on me. I'm not too worried about making enough money for books next year. This semester I didn't spend anything on books, relying on reading them in the library. So if worse comes to worse I could do that next year. And if the schedule that I want works out, then I will have thursdays and fridays off next semester. So I can have enough time to both waitress or get a desk job and do my research for my honors thesis.

Now all I need to do is figure out how to get a job for this summer. Or several jobs. Paying internships seem to be out of the question right now, and the sociology department doesn't exactly help you get any internships at all (they expect you to do research and go on to grad school, which right now is the path I prefer). I'm not interested in doing another arts administration internship. Working at IMG made me realize that private arts administration isn't really the sector I want to go into. I'm more interested in the public policy/social policy thing right now, but I don't really know how to get an internship in something like that. I'm considering not getting an internship at all and just working, so that I can afford to be in New York.

Am I making a mistake? Should I stay home and commute? My parents say that they will cover the cost of commuting, which might end up being $300-$400 a month (only $200 less than living in Brooklyn, I might add). Should a get an unpaid internship and a waitressing job and a babysitting job and live in New York? Should I just work? Should I use the money my Nonno left me in for the rent on my first apartment this summer instead of when I graduate? How are other people going to swing this?